Secnalubma

Don't be fooled by the title. Take a close look and you'll figure it out :-p

Ever watch that show Rescue 911 when you were younger? Or Emergency! for those who are older? "Squad 51 to Rampart..." Third Watch, which I think was the most realistic of them all? As a kid, I'll admit that, like a lot of people, ambulances and firetrucks fascinated me. I used to chase them up and down the roads. Had my own little helmet, nice red Big Wheel trike...ya know lol. And now look at me, I live the life of a lifesaver. Up and down the roads driving and riding in those monstrosities known as ambulances. So what are these...things?

First thing I'll say is they're not Ferrari's, Maserati's, or Lamborghini's. Kids get these ideas that ambulances are supercharged, turbocharged, rocket-boosted vehicles that can just go wherever they need to. Well, they ARE turbocharged, but that's about it. They're extremely top heavy, easy to flip if you're not careful, and not exactly NASCAR material. If you dissect an ambulance, you'll find that all it really consists of is a basic pickup truck or van frame (ex. Dodge Ram or Ford E350) with a big steel box welded onto the back. Sure they're somewhat fast, but it takes them awhile to get up to speed. That's basically it. They're not bulletproof. In fact, the aluminum and fiberglass box on the back won't even deflect bullets. They'll go in one end and out the other. The FDNY people used to tell us that if you get caught in a shootout (which I have, and it wasn't fun to say the least), the safest place to be is next to the front wheel. Most of these trucks carry heavy-duty diesel engines which are more capable of stopping a round. Hey, it might disable the truck, but you'll still be alive. The solution to this of course if to never get yourself into that situation to begin with :-).

Overall they're fun to drive. They require a lot of skill. And no, we do NOT just flat out run through red lights. Any driver that does should find a new career. While I've driven on the opposite lanes of traffic, I've done it SLOWLY with sirens full blast so drivers know what's going on. There is such a condition known as "sirencide", where a driver will experience loss of judgment and a high of adrenaline while the siren is on. It's a dangerous condition that must be avoided at all costs.

Behind those tinted window doors lies my office. Bandages, slings, stretcher, splints, electricity, medications, narcotics (there's a difference!), bags, masks, air, oxygen, tanks, radios, and oh yeah, the siren. You've gotta know where everything is at all times. No two trucks are the same. What happens in the ambulance STAYS in the ambulance hahaha. A lot of times I just go with the flow, there's no real organization to caring for people, every patient is different. But the end result is the same. I get them to the hospital safely. What's the point of driving 90 miles per hour with a cardiac arrest patient if the rough ride prevents adequate patient care? There is none.

Coming up next, my FDNY EMS days...